{"id":538,"date":"2023-01-01T23:00:46","date_gmt":"2023-01-01T23:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/guruofthebeauty.com\/health\/4521-4-steps-to-emotional-validation\/"},"modified":"2023-01-16T13:42:16","modified_gmt":"2023-01-16T13:42:16","slug":"4-steps-to-emotional-validation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/?p=538","title":{"rendered":"4 Steps To Emotional Validation"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you follow a bunch of life coaches on Instagram and other social media, you are probably constantly bombarded with posts of the \u201cgood vibes only\u201d variety. While these \u201cinfluencers\u201d mean well, it is extremely annoying. The fact that a lot of my friends are convinced of this adds to the frustration because this mindset can lead to toxic positivity, a belief that you have to maintain your positive way of thinking even in situations where it\u2019s not appropriate. <\/p>\n

Although studies have demonstrated time and time again that the power of positive thinking can change your life, there is a much better approach in the form of emotional validation.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

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What Is Emotional Validation?<\/h2>\n

Emotional validation involves recognizing that there are times in our lives when we go through difficulties, and that the negative feelings that these experiences generate are real and often important. In essence, it is the opposite of toxic positivity, which seeks to deny the reality of each individual\u2019s lived experience. Feeling angry or sad is fully appropriate in some situations, but with toxic positivity, these natural emotions are discounted. To be clear, this isn\u2019t to suggest emotional validation encourages or promotes the idea that having constant negative thoughts is healthy. Rather, it takes a compassionate approach. <\/p>\n

When looking through the lens of emotional validation, we begin to understand that when we do experience negative feelings, it is only temporary. The death of a loved one, the disappointment of not getting an A in a class, or getting into a fender bender aren\u2019t occasions where one looks at the bright side of life. We eventually come to terms with the situation and accept it. However, according to this train of thought, there is no time table; we will move on only when we are emotionally ready.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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Practicing Emotional Validation<\/h2>\n

Toxic positivity hinders us from achieving emotional stability and invalidates the emotions felt by the ones we love. If we are constantly bombarded with the message, \u201cThe solution to every problem is to smile and think positively,\u201d it prevents us from confronting the feelings that we have and finding ways to work them out. Fortunately, practicing emotional validation is effective and easy to do. Here are the 4 steps to achieve this.<\/p>\n

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Step One: Think Before You Respond<\/h2>\n

When a friend is going through some hard times, or when you counter terrible news of your own, you might instinctively feel like you need to give an immediate response. We might blurt out comforting expressions like \u201ceverything is going to be alright\u201d or \u201cyou\u2019ll see that it was for the best.\u201d <\/p>\n

But it is important to be cautious because this might not be what the person needs to hear right now. Instead, a better strategy is to pause for a moment and reflect on the situation before responding. <\/p>\n

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The first big step is to recognize that we experience negative emotions and be in tune with our feelings when they happen. When we are able to come to terms with our emotions, we are equipped with the tools to help others.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

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Step Two: Be Empathetic<\/h2>\n

Once your friend or loved one shares the negative news, the next step to avoid toxic positivity is to let them know you sympathize with the situation. It could be a simple statement like, \u201cI understand you feel sad.\u201d This demonstrates that you care about them. It is important not to downplay their emotions, especially when everybody has their own way of dealing with the pain.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

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Step Three: Show Them Support<\/h2>\n

Rather than telling them empty words like \u201ccheer up,\u201d or casting aside your negative feelings, tell them something sincere, meaningful and practical. Invite them to express how they feel at that moment and let them know that they are strong and courageous for being able to cope. <\/p>\n

You should never make assumptions about someone else or dictate how they should feel since you risk wading in the waters of toxic positivity. An appropriate response is to ask them questions that allow you to better understand how they\u2019re coping rather than assume you already know.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

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Step Four: Validate Their Feelings<\/h2>\n

This final step is exactly what you think: you want to assure the person that everything they are feeling has merit. You can say things like \u201cThat is a lot to handle,\u201d \u201cHow you feel is totally understandable,\u201d \u201cI feel the same way,\u201d or even \u201cYou have my full support.\u201d If there is ever a time when they need to hear these things, it is now. <\/p>\n

If you are the one going through a difficult crisis, remind yourself that you are not expected to simply get over it. You must recognize that you\u2019ll go through a series of emotions and at some point you will overcome it. When you go through a temporary down period, permitting yourself to experience emotions is the path to recovery.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

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Final Thoughts<\/h2>\n

Unfortunately, toxic positivity has become prevalent, and you might even know some \u201cYou\u2019re taking it way too hard\u201d or \u201cAlways look on the bright side of life\u201d folks. If they ever say these invalidating things to you, remind yourself that no matter what they say, your feelings are valid. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Toxic positivity is a belief that you have to maintain your positive way of thinking even in situations where it\u2019s not appropriate. Emotional validation involves recognizing that there are times in our lives when we go through difficulties. When we are able to come to terms with our emotions, we are equipped to help others. It is important not to downplay their emotions, especially when everybody has their own way of dealing with the pain. Invite them to express how they feel at that moment and let them know that they are strong and courageous for being able to cope. Ask them questions that allow you to better understand how they\u2019re coping rather than assume you already know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1273,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/538","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=538"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/538\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=538"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=538"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/popbriefly.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=538"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}